Thursday, September 9, 2010

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

I know from my call from my dad yesterday he was to go to the hospital to again receive a blood transfusion and platelets today.  Like I stated, this has now become a weekly event.  I don't always hear from him on the day of his transfusions.  It tires him out so easily and yet you wouldn't think that lieing on a bed for 3 hours would be.  It is funny how those who have to cope with various illnesses like this, or those who need a transfusion, dialysis, radiation or chemo treatment, it just becomes a part of their new lifestyle. 

I wish I was there to hold his hand while he goes through these each week.  He is all alone.  But my dad is and always has been such a proud man.  He looked after my mother until he could no longer cope.  We were only concerned about her well-being and not thinking about what it was doing to him while he was my mom's care-giver for so many years after her strokes.  The night he called me in tears and stated he couldn't do it any more, I knew how proud a man he was.  I love both him and my mom.  They have endured so much in this life.  They have made me who I am ... a strong, loving and caring person for which I hope my children will carry forward into their lives not only with their partners, but also pass on to their children.

I have tried to find support groups on line for those who have had loved one's who too have had CMML.  It isn't easy.  The sites I have found state to find groups who know about this type of leukemia as it is not like the others. 

Through this blog, it is my hope that I may end up with a few people who follow who have also been through this type of disease.  The need to educate and make others aware is my hopeful goal in all of this.  I truly should have started blogging years ago when it all started.  Maybe now, there wouldn't be such feelings of hopelessness.

Always live today as if it is the first day of the rest of your life.  You have no idea what tomorrow will bring.

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