I have to admit when you hear news you have to bring a positive twist to everything. Dad called on Thursday night and again was down. Three weeks in a row for a transfusion and platelets. I know what this has all begun to mean, and I'm not sure if he does or not. His foot is still swollen and very sore, the doctor at the cancer clinic looked at it and stated it very well could be the leukemia.
Like I said in a past post, my dad really likes this doctor because he has concern in him. The doctor talked with him and stated he wanted to test his bone marrow and then put him on a drug that has just been approved by Canada. This is of course because of the need for the transfusions every week and his white blood cells taking over. So on Tuesday, September 21st in the morning dad will have this procedure done for a second time. He isn't scared of the procedure as the first time around they did it without freezing anything. Gosh I have to give him credit for that because I am not sure if I could have done it. This time the doctor said he would freeze him up before he did the procedure. I wish I could be there to hold his hand, however in 2 more weeks I will be there to see what is going on. This procedure will determine I would guess the dosage of the drug he will be given. Dad has a hard time understanding all of this. However, me being me I gave that positive twist on how great this was and why they were doing the procedure again.
I know that when I get home in a few weeks I need to sit and talk to the doctor so I too can understand what is going on and where we are going. Any hope for dad just not to have pain.
Mom calls me as soon as she gets news like this. I have to try to spin the positive onto her as well. Why is it that everyone always has to look at the negative? I have heard so many great stories of people who have been given just a few weeks left to live from cancer have positively willed themselves into more years. I guess that is what I am for at this point.
I keep wondering where the positive approach is that my parents always gave me when I felt my life was falling down. Is it just that when a disease strikes someone, that they look at things in a different perspective or just that as it comes with age, it truly is hard to comprehend?
My children are a source of joy for both of them. Having had birthday's this month, it has elated both my mom and dad with my dad even singing happy birthday as a message to my daughter when she didn't answer the phone. It is quite comical to say the least since he doesn't like to sing and his spirit has truly lessened, but something I told her to keep on her phone. These are the keepsakes of life one doesn't ever want to lose. It is one of those intangibles that to me mean more than anything else in the world. It is like every card that my parents and children have given me throughout my life, these have meant so much more than anything else anyone gives you in life. That hug when you need someone, the ability to cry and then laugh when someone reminds you of that one ridiculous time you had. I truly hope I have passed this on to my own children, and that is that the intangiles are truly what life is all about.
We grow and we learn everyday. You would think in such a technological society that we have today, they would have a better grasp and understanding on why and what causes so many of these diseases. I realize we can't live forever, but why can't we live a life without pain and suffering? I know, it is a huge thing to ask for. I truly hope I just don't wake up one morning. Maybe that is asking too much.
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