Just Personal Thoughts

There are numerous blogs that one can read regarding various cancers and what they have faced.  It helps one to get a better perspective on how people have dealt with it.

My one big blow in this big picture goes back to the fact that my dad was faced with this disease at a very old age, and just prior to him and my mother being separated with her going into a nursing home.  I'm not sure how one can stand alone and live with the thoughts of what is happening to them with no one to talk to.  His lifetime partner no longer there.  This situation is so different from some that I have read.  To keep positive I realize, but that is difficult under these circumstances.  I have tried and continue to try to keep that positive approach for my father.  I have always looked at the positives of so many situations in my life, many of which there truly was no positive result.

Almost 3 years ago, I was faced with moving my parents from their home to an assisted living facility, then within a year faced with having to have extra help in to assist my mom, along with a nurse sleeping on the couch at night to help my father out until she could be placed into a nursing home, to my parents being separated from each other.  Do we ever stop to really think what this does on them?  I know that I did when I first moved them out of their home.  It was a difficult decision but needed to be done. 

There are so many factors that you never can take into account for every individual situation that happens.  Yes CMML is one of those unknown cancers.  It has hit my dad like a brick wall.  He has always been a fighter, but what does he truly have left to fight for?  How can you ever keep a positive approach at this stage in life? 

This blog I am sure will have no rhyme or reason to many who are or may read it.  Again, some are thoughts specific for my children.  Some are thoughts that one day I will look back on.  It is a part of my life that I don't like to talk about to people ... I don't want people to say "I'm sorry".  I'm not looking for pity or sorrow, just a way to help others, some day, with things they may have to face in life.  Then again, if society continues to change the way it is, there may no longer be people who truly care in this world.

I remember Terry Fox and what he did.  I went and saw his statue a number of years ago.  For those who have fought cancer and do something to bring about awareness, you truly are amazing.  For those of us who have people we love who have had to deal with cancer, I too wish to bring about awareness.